Compassionate Counsel. Committed Advocacy

Tips for dealing with your ex-spouse

On Behalf of | Nov 15, 2022 | Family Law

Divorce is rarely easy. After all, you have to deal with the emotional complexities of your situation while also finding a way to obtain a fair financial resolution during the property division process and when dealing with spousal and child support matters. As if that’s not enough, your marriage may have soured to the point that it’s now difficult for you to deal with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. And if you’re already divorced and are now facing child custody disputes, then the matter may be even more contentious.

What can you do to protect your interests when dealing with your ex?

Even if it’s difficult for you to interact with your ex-spouse or soon-to-be ex-spouse, there are things that you can do to make navigating challenging issues easier. Let’s look at some of them here:

  • Reduce communications to writing: It’s inevitable that you’re going to have face-to-face communication with your ex, but these interactions can lead to misunderstandings and statements being taken out of context, especially if you and your ex-spouse have a history of communication issues. By putting everything in writing, though, you can better ensure that everyone has an understanding of their responsibilities and obligations pertaining to the issue at hand.
  • Don’t take it personally: This can be hard to do, but you really should keep a calm, business-like demeanor during your interactions with your spouse if your interactions tend to lead to blow ups. Keep in mind that ex-spouses sometimes try to rile up their former spouse as a way to get attention. You don’t want to fall into that trap.
  • Keep the focus on your children: If you’re dealing with a custody or visitation dispute, then make sure that your interactions with your ex always put your children first. Don’t let personal attacks cloud the fact that your decisions here need to be made in the best interests of your children. Also, try to protect your children from any arguments or negative statements so that emotional or psychological harm isn’t caused to them.
  • Try to find ways to let your ex win: This may sound counter-intuitive, but if you can find areas to let your spouse “win,” then you may be able to find more common ground than you think. This can build your communication and relationship with your former spouse so that you can hopefully navigate other challenging issues more effectively in the future.
  • Be realistic with yourself: Remember that productive communication is a two-way street. Although your former spouse may have a significant role to play in any hardships that you’re facing, you need to be honest with yourself about any contributions that you’ve made to the difficulties that you’re facing. If you identify an area where you can improve, then try to find ways to work on that issue so that you can save yourself some time and headaches later down the road.

Dealing with the legalities of your situation

Dealing with an ex can be difficult, but if it’s in the midst of a legal dispute, then the ramifications can be significant. That’s why it’s a good idea to avoid hashing these matters out on your own, as doing so may lead to unwanted outcomes that are fueled by emotions. Therefore, if you’d like assistance in assessing your situation, negotiating with the other side, and crafting the legal arguments that you need to effectively advance your position, then you might want to consider reaching out to a legal professional who has a track record of success in handling these matters.